The practise of “Now”
It's been the thing that is allowing me to remain focused and calm... because our mind is the one making up the stories, whether true or false.
I have realised it doesn't matter if they are true or false...
Our idea of life is based on the events that we go through, there's never only one event that we are going trough but a míriade of them, and it is the emotions that get affected by a particular one, that pick that event as the reality we are living.
My life has been showing up for me in extremes...
In some ways I have been extremely blessed and grateful for certain miracles present in my life.
On the other extreme a lot has been falling apart and unpleasant...
I realised I have a choice of where I want to be... It's easy to fall prey to anything and everything that is not right in life.
To resent all the bad we perceived we were a victim of...
But when you live in the Now, is like each moment is a new born baby... you are a new born baby, only using the past accumulated as so you don't have to learn the basics of navigating the world... but to erase all the reality based in emotions from the past that project into worry for the future.. it feels like being a new born baby.
The mind quiets without effort, because it also remains spontaneous to talk when needed. Falling into the present moment, the Now, it goes into a state of just observing the newness and freshness of the moment, and the unknown of what will happen next.
Interestingly enough that gave me an holistic overview that made me realise that no problem ever lasts forever, because dead people have no problems (apologies for my scorpionic dark humour).
We stress about the future with all the potential bad that can occur, but really we are fearing and anticipating being in a state of a bundle of emotions and feelings in disharmony... what we are trying to resist really is feeling bad, going through situations we call and perceive as pain.
What I realised with my extremes was the choice that I could lean to one, or another, but, in the present moment... focusing only on what was in front of me at that exact moment, I realised all the other things, were possibilities, not reality. They may or may not happening... but right now, what is happening is what I decide my emotions and feelings are going to be...
And sometimes these can be pain, sorrow, because the reality before me took a hold of me in that moment and compelled me to give all my attention and energy in that direction, so all other realities I could be looking at, or choosing seemed less relevant, or powerful to grab me. It is usually the out of the ordinary thing that disturbs our routine and habits, that is sudden and unexpected.
I could certainly be dwelling like I did many times at the things in my life that are totally not ok right now, and I have a few... but decided instead to just look at life as if each second I'm being born anew, because it is a birth, each moment is a birth, a death...
So what remains?
Only where you are right Now, even when all is crumbling around...
For moments I can get it, how masters can remain calm in an earthquake and focus only in drinking their tea... and be in complete bliss as they walk to their unjust death by some authority.... I got glimpses that death happens at every moment, life happens at every moment... what does remain when memories, thoughts and our idea of self identity are gone??
What remains when we die?
What has remained of all those who were alive 150 years ago, and where are their problems, worries, preoccupations, concerns about what would others think???
Being absorbed in the now ( and I can't say I'm there all the time) really is allowing me to taste life in a way I had forgotten how to among all the really good reasons I have to be in a negative state of being and mind... and it's not suppressing or denying emotions... that makes it worse. In fact this practise is allowing me a state of surrender, letting go, letting in, letting be.
There are many realities happening at the same time, which one is real??
Our idea of suffering seems to be a prolongation of an emotional state that is disharmonious. I think in my case, it was a negative projection of the future and enduring a state of misery of which I couldn't get out from.